Statistics suggest that as many as 95% of people who purchase life insurance are influenced more by the personality of the insurance agent than by the details of the insurance policy itself.
Some people have a natural gift for sales, while many do not. In fact, many people hesitate to sell products or even to persuade others to buy something. I would place myself in that second group.
When I was a seminary student, I worked part-time in sales to help pay my tuition. I tried selling books and other products, but I had no experience in sales. In the end, I sold almost nothing. I discovered how difficult it is to sell something to a complete stranger.
This experience reminded me of the importance of rapport—a word we often hear but may not fully appreciate. Rapport refers to mutual understanding, trust, and cooperation. Rev. Melvin, whose vision inspired the establishment of Melvin University, also wrote about this in a letter to lay pastors. He described rapport as a key that opens people’s hearts. It creates harmony, familiarity, and a sense of genuine connection.
Some personalities make others uncomfortable. A person who ignores the rights of others, constantly disagrees, or continually creates conflict is likely to experience repeated failure in relationships. On the other hand, people who know how to work with others, build trust, and promote harmony are much more likely to succeed. This is why developing our character is so important.
I have read Stephen Covey’s books several times. One of his lasting messages is that true success is built on character. Throughout his writings, he repeatedly illustrates that character is more important than personality alone.
Can a good personality be developed? I believe it can. While our basic temperament may not change completely, our attitudes, habits, and character certainly can. That is one of the main purposes of learning and training. Often, people who appear difficult were not always that way. Circumstances, disappointments, and painful experiences may have shaped their behavior.
One quality that is especially valuable is being teachable—having a willingness to learn and accept correction. In leadership development, many organizations use the acronym FAT to describe the kind of people they seek: Faithful, Available, and Teachable.
Why, then, is a good personality so important?
First, it benefits us personally. A poor attitude often hurts the person who possesses it before it hurts anyone else. Inner wounds eventually show themselves in relationships with others, creating even greater pain. Distorted attitudes produce distorted words and actions, causing suffering not only for ourselves but also for our families, colleagues, and communities.
As Christians, we are called to heal people, not to wound them. We are called to bring peace, not conflict; encouragement, not discouragement. Therefore, developing Christlike character is not optional—it is essential for anyone who desires to serve God and care for others.
A good personality may open a door, but Christlike character keeps it open.